There are so many steps, it is exhausting.
First you try something that is as least invasive as possible.
Then if that does not work, you get more aggressive.
Then the way you define happiness becomes screwy... many "normal" women get happy when they are pregnant. We think: WOW, I got three follies for my IUI. It did not work, but it was still a good cycle.
Or: WOW: we got 15 eggs! I did not get pregnant, but at least I have a few frozen embies!
or, like last week: Well, there is a pregnancy in your uterus. We can't tell much more. You will have to wait two more agonizing weeks and we will see if there is a heart beat. Me: Well, at least it is not another ectopic, so I am really happy.
Seriously? I am really happy that I have a "Maybe" pregnancy?
WTH? That is ridiculous.
I just want to be normal.
Every step in this process feels like walking uphill both ways. Yesterday I was encouraged because I gagged and almost threw up while driving to work. I *think* I am feeling some morning sickness (Or, I want to be pregnant so badly, I am making myself sick).
But, encouragement soon faded when I got the call that my progesterone had dropped and I had to up my PIO ( which I have seemed to develop an allergic reaction to, BTW).
I am tired.
I just want to know.