Friday, August 7, 2009

Really, really tough day.

Well, you kind of know it is not going to be a good day when the first thing you do in the morning is look for a copy of your mother's death certificate.

I had to go back to my hometown yesterday to take care of some accounts at my mom's bank that, for whatever reason, were still open. I was annoyed as I thought I had taken care of this two years ago. When my mother got sick, she put my name on her accounts to make things easier for bill paying, etc. Since they were in my name, I was the lucky one who had to take care of it.

As I wanted to get to the gym and go to my acupuncture before I headed up, I checked online to see the branch hours. I saw that her branch had moved locations and that it is now on one of the main roads very close to where her house was. I knew where to head, and figured it would be easy to spot the bank when I got here.

So... I get there.... and I find the bank.

****interruption for a little back story for those that do not know*****
I have a brother who was a firefighter and who was killed in the line of duty. It was in a restaurant that was on a main road not too far from my mom's house ( do you see where I am going, yet?)

So, I pull into the bank... the bank that was recently built on the spot where my brother lost his life. Now, the lot that now houses the bank has been vacant for 20+ years since the fire. I have driven past this lot a million times.

But... how ironic is it that the first time I have pulled in and walked close to where the tragedy took place, I was doing so with my mother's death certificate in hand.

I hate to feel sorry for myself.... but sometimes the ridiculousness that is my life... it is like it is a bad movie that no one actually wants to watch because the plot is too unbelievable.

Of course the bank wound up being a hassle, it is still not settled and I am expecting a phone call again today with person from the bank, so I can once again, re-hash the fact that my mother is dead.

So, I figured I would cap off the misery with a drive past my mom's house ( that we sold last summer) and a trip to the cemetery.

I guess the silver lining was that I got to have dinner with a dear, dear friend who still lives in that area.

Bottom line: I really miss my mom. She was such a good egg.


JackieMac said...

I am so sorry you had such a tough day (((HUGS)))

kim said...

That's really hard. I am so sorry. Hugs.

Lindsay said...

*Hugs* I am sorry you had such a hard day. Remember, You ARE a strong woman. We just all have our times when we can be not so strong and that is ok.

K8e said...

That is all so sad and horrible to have to go through on top of everything else in your life.
I am sorry. You are so strong!

Rosemary said...

oh K, what a tough, tough day. I'm so so sorry for both your losses. I can't even imagine how tough that must be. (((((((hugs)))))))

-rose (lovemymonkey)

gringa78 said...

Ugh. I have tears in my eyes. What an amazing person you are, really. There are some good things in store for you, I'm sure of it. No one goes through life with so much tragedy without getting a whopping dose of happiness along the way. Hang in there, sweetie.

Simple said...

I'm right there with you .. my mom's anniv of her death is next week & I'm in the middle of IVF. Oh how I wish she was here. (hugs) :)

Me said...

I am so sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine how painful it was to go through these events when they were happening.

Echloe said...

That must have been really difficult for you. I'm so sorry that you've had all of this sadness in your life. I hope the gym is able to lift your spirits a little. (((HUGS)))

Fran said...

What a tough day...I am so sorry things have been so hard for you. I remember one of your previous post where you were talking about your brother and the death of your mother afterwards. You do deserve a break of good luck. I wishing it for you so hard. Lots of love, Fran

Peachy said...

I am so sorry, I can't imagine how tough that was for you. ((hugs))

MJ said...

I am so sorry you're having such a rough day. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman from everything you've written about her.

You're an amazing woman!

satto said...

She raised a good egg too. I'm sorry you had such a hard day.

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with ya! I miss my Mom everyday, too... chin up and smile... that's what she always said. We sold my Mom's house 2 summers ago and I have to drive past it all the time since it is only a block from the house, I can see it from my front yard. So I know the feeling.
Hang in there, your Mom is so very proud of you!