Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Be careful what you wish for...

Well, all of my hoping, praying and snow dancing paid off, we had a snow day today.  I suppose an ice day might be a more appropriate name!  
    I was initially thrilled to get my 5:15 call, telling me that I had the day free.  Somewhere between the call and 10:00, things changed.  My husband's district only delayed, so he had to go in, which meant I was left to my own devices all day.  Normally, I cherish the times when I have our very tiny home all to myself, but today the aloneness left me feeling, well, alone.  
    I could not shake the melancholy feeling I had all day.  More irksome is the fact that I could not pinpoint where it was coming from.  Well, I have my suspicions, but admitting it means I am not doing as well as I thought.  
  Next week, Monday to be exact, will mark the 2 year "anniversary" of my mom's passing.  For about a half a year after, I was just numb.  Then I was just an angry, inconsolable mess. Now, unless you were my husband, you probably wouldn't have known that, as I am a master of disguise, but there was an inescapable hole in my world that left me reeling.   This last year though, I have been handling things really well.  The holidays were actually fine this year; it just seemed that things were different, better.  Today just sort of snuck up on me. 
I hate when that happens.


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I understand those feelings you were talking about. The 2 year anniversary of my dad's passing is next weekend and I'm already dreading the day. My thoughts are with you!!

kim said...

I can't imagine what it would be like if I didn't have my mom. She is my best friend. I am so sorry your mom isn't here with you. Hugs. :(