I was initially thrilled to get my 5:15 call, telling me that I had the day free. Somewhere between the call and 10:00, things changed. My husband's district only delayed, so he had to go in, which meant I was left to my own devices all day. Normally, I cherish the times when I have our very tiny home all to myself, but today the aloneness left me feeling, well, alone.
I could not shake the melancholy feeling I had all day. More irksome is the fact that I could not pinpoint where it was coming from. Well, I have my suspicions, but admitting it means I am not doing as well as I thought.
Next week, Monday to be exact, will mark the 2 year "anniversary" of my mom's passing. For about a half a year after, I was just numb. Then I was just an angry, inconsolable mess. Now, unless you were my husband, you probably wouldn't have known that, as I am a master of disguise, but there was an inescapable hole in my world that left me reeling. This last year though, I have been handling things really well. The holidays were actually fine this year; it just seemed that things were different, better. Today just sort of snuck up on me.
I hate when that happens.