Saturday, April 11, 2009

Advice from a pretty smart lady....

     I remember when my mom was sick and it got to the point that we knew it was terminal, we had a conversation about being angry.  I told her that I was so angry that she was sick and had to suffer.  And selfishly, I was so angry that she was going to be taken from from me far earlier than should ever be.  

    In that conversation, she taught me one of her last and probably most important lessons:  You can't stop to question the bad in life when there has been so much good.  Even in her sickness, knowing her time was near, she was able to detail a long list of events in her life that were precious and wonderful.  She explained to me that she never asked God "why am I so lucky to have this happen to me?" So, when it came to facing the bad, the same logic applies.  You can't have it both was. 

So, today I am working really hard to channel my mom and all of her sage advice.  I have such an incredible, rock solid marriage.  Neither of us are perfect, but we are perfect for each other.  These last few days have been rough, but they certainly made me realize all over again how amazing R is.  

I have a loving family and amazing friends who are being so incredibly supportive.  I am blessed to have a career that I really love.  I have seven frozen embryo; so I know we can try again.  Thankfully, should we have to do another fresh IVF, although it will hurt a bit, we do have the means to do so.  

So, I am giving myself until my belly feels better to mope a bit and then it is time to get on with the business of living.  I want to lose weight, run again, and enjoy my husband and our marriage.  

Thanks mom, even when are aren't here... you are. 

1 comment:

NorthernChick.InFL said...

I've been following your blog for about the past two months, and to a very small extent I experienced your excitement and subsequent heartbreak just by reading about your journey. I am so very sorry for your loss. But I am also so glad that you're finding strength and hope in this trying time. It sounds like your mother was an amazing woman and a fantastic mentor. But guess what? I can tell - just by reading your blog - that you're an amazing woman, too. :)

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck as you move forward in your journey. Take care of yourself, take time to heal, but don't give up hope. I look forward to leaving a comment to say "congrats" in the near future!

...brandi